I grew up in a small community where everyone knows everyone. Although there can be negatives to living in a small community, the benefits of knowing majority of the families within a ten mile radius far outweigh the negatives. I grew up trusting people and keeping only a few close friends within reach. Yes, we had “friendly spats” throughout the years (who doesn’t, right?); however, there was a level of camaraderie that allows us to pick up where we left off, even if it has been twenty years since we last saw each other. That level of trust ended my first year teaching…
To be honest, I have no clue how all this happened. I have no clue why it happened. But…as a first year teacher, I was naive – to the “innocence” of myself, to the friendships of others, to the ugliness of cohorts. “Innocence of myself” – looking back, I wished I had a teacher who told me to guard myself…to not shut the door when a guy was in my room talking to me or to take him to get his truck from the mechanic. He asked and I thought he needed a favor. I was too trustworthy, not knowing how horrible all this would be perceived. So what was this horrible “thing”? I found out a teacher (at my school) was spreading the rumor I was having an affair with a married man (and laughing about it). Remember the guy who needed a ride to the mechanic or help with a lesson plan? I found out that this guy, who should have been appalled, was laughing, too. I was mortified. I cried and cried and cried. Then, I began searching for another job. There was no way I was staying at this school. I later found out I was not the only one targeted by this particular teacher. Admin later “found out” and wanted to discuss everything. I say “found out” because deep down, I think they knew but didn’t do anything until at least three of us were bullied. It was through this that I clung to 2 Corinthians 4:17 – “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” I have this at the end of my personal email…I write it in many letters I write…I pray this verse because it gives me comfort and reminds me that even through the viciousness of sinful men or the sadness and troubles of this life, God is Sovereign.
Why do we experience trials? Why would I ever be put in a school who had a teacher (and supposedly a professing Believer) who found enjoyment in hurting a first year teacher, who took delight in spreading vicious rumors? I don’t know why but do know that without that specific trial, I would not have been able to speak truth to other educators who had experienced difficult times (or shall I say, experiencing difficult times). We can’t ask the whys but we can cling to what we do know – that God is Sovereign and in control of all our experiences – good and bad – that we MOMENTARILY go through.
